Whitchurch v Olveston Sun 18th Oct 2pm K.O

As training has been cancelled this week, I want all the U18's squad to take the time to 'do your own thing'.

Go for a jog, ride your bike, go swimming, do some aerobic exercise, be prepared for this weekends game.

Alternatively, you'll probably all do what you normally do.

Drink beer, watch telly, play computer games, stay up late, eat kebabs and sleep in a bush.

We have a Laydee referee this week (Mandy Kurfoot) so best behaviour from all, as apart from Bad Boy George Laver, our team has a very good disciplinary record.

So far (unless anyone knows any different), the available list for this Sunday's game is as follows:

1. Rico 'where the hell are you going?' Thompson James

2. Scott 'Terrible Shorts' Selwood

3. Mitch 'Shotgun' Player

4. Carlo Wherethehellhaveyoubin

5. Matt Tempz

6. Grant 'No Wheels' Caddick

7. Alex 'serious' Vezey

8. Lee Bartz

9. George 'Bad Boy' Laver

10. Jammy Walker (even his hair's marmalade colour)

11. Bobby 4 goals

At the mo, no substitutes.

If anyone knows of any other club members who are available, let me know asap.

Also, I have to pay the club all signing on fees and subs by Sat 31st Oct.

All players with outstanding monies, please sort it out asap.

The Gaffa has spoken.