Squad for Sun 31st Oct v Ingleside

There's a race nite this sat at the club which should be a good laugh, but I don't want anyone getting completely bollocksed and turning in a shite performance on Sunday.

Lee Bartley is only 50/50 to be fit for this Sunday, as he his still having trouble with the knock he got against Olveston.

Slop is back from Brazil, so he should manage to ruin what has been a really solid defence over the last few weeks!!

I'm taking bets on wether Matt risks wearing shorts before the game this week, those who were at last weeks game will know what I'm talking about.

Other than that, noone has said they won't be there, so the squad is as follows:

Rico
Scotty
Grant
Slop
Ted
Tommo
Smiffo
Matt
Alex
Bobby
Lee Bartz
Deano
Conno
Bad boy Laver

That's 14 players available at the moment. Let's see how many are available on Sunday!!
Hope to see as many of you as poss at the Race Nite (Norton Lane, 7ish, Sat)
The Gaffa.

Match report - 25th Oct v Mangotsfield

Mangotsfield 2 Whitchurch 7
Another 3 points in the bag, some brilliant passing football played, some downright ridiculous play, and once again, we only had the bare 11.
We had a goal very questionably disallowed for offside after 90 seconds, then a minute later found ourselves 1-0 down after Rico came out stopped, went again, stopped again, and left an empty net for them to pass the ball into.
Good response tho, when we got back to 1-1 just 2 mins later, then went 4-1 up over the next 30 mins.
Mangotsfield hardly had a shot on goal the entire half, but when they did have a go, the shot was going wide, but Rico managed to claw it round and into his own net.
Half time, 4-2.
The Gaffa made the point that we should be 7 goals clear, but we want to pass to everyone before taking a shot, instead of simply sticking the ball in the net.
More good football in the second half, with us well on top, but again wasting a lot of good chances in front of goal.
Finished 7-2, with Dean getting 3, Conor 2, Alex and Bob getting 1 each.
Overall - Nice Doings.
Star Ratings:
RICO **** Solid second half made up for shaky start. Didn't go for a wander this week!!
TEDDO **** Another good game, could have pinched Bob's goal.
CADDO **** Good solid display, took a whack in the ribs for his trouble.
SCOTTO **** Another solid game, didn't put a foot wrong.
BOBBO **** 100% improvement from last week, full of running & got a goal.
SMIFFO **** Great debut, should have scored, will prob score next week!!
TEMPO **** Another strong performance, didn't look so calm when cacked in the carpark.
VEZO **** One of his best games for us. Centre mid suits him, got a goal.
TOMMO **** Another good game out wide, won't be long before he scores.
DEANO **** Hat-trick, should have scored 6. Nearly ripped one of their heads off.
GINGO ***** STAR MAN. Scored 2, but the missed bicycle kick was so funny, it
was worth travelling to fishponds just to see that!!!

GAFFA ************ Bloke's a genius.
I'm thinking of changing our training night.
Please e-mail me on hesthegaffa@yahoo.co.uk with what your prefered night would be.
Also include what time would suit you best.
Well played today fellas, job well done.
The Gaffa.

Team for Sun 25th Oct v Mangotsfield

Because of holidays and injuries, this week's squad is thinner than the Gaffa's haircut.
We only have the bare 11, so make sure that you all get there on time.
NO piss ups tonight, No smoking anything and NO self abuse!!!!!!
We are second in the league with a game in hand and a superior goal difference, so it's in our hands to go on and win it.
Team is as follows:
1 (GK) Rico TJ
2 (RB) Scotty Dog
3 (LB) Ted Shotgun
5 (CB) Grant
4 (CM) Matt Tempz
8 (CM) Dan Smiff
6 (CM) Alex Cornerflag
7 (RM) Tommo
11 (LM) Bobbo
9 (FWD) Conor inthebook£8fine
10 (FWD) Dean Wherehavubin

So there you have it, now let's all do our jobs tomorrow and come away with 3 more points.
DON'T FORGET OUTSTANDING SUBS / SIGNING ON FEES!!!!
The Gaffa

Sun 25th Oct v Mangotsfield

Away to Mangotsfield this Sunday, so I need you all to sort out transport, as I don't want a repeat of the fiasco before the last away game, where everyone turned up without a lift!!!
Anyone who really can't get a lift needs to contact me asap, and I'll see if I can sort something out.
Good luck to the lads who were selected for the rep team trials tomorrow night, I hope you all get in, and that our team makes up a good percentage of the Rep side.
Keep yourselves fit for Sunday, another 3 points and lots of goals added to our goal difference are the minimum requirement.
See you all then.
The Gaffa.

Match report v Olveston 18th Oct 09

Whitchurch 2 Olveston 0
Walker, Templar.

After what was obviously a collective Saturday night on the piss, the squad turned up looking like they had just been woken up, and Slop wasn't even in the team!
We didn't get off to a great start, and laboured thru the 1st half, and altho we still dominated, we didn't have the finish to top off the good work coming from the defence and midfield.
With Bobby Archard looking like an extra from Shaun of the Dead, The Gaffa made a substitution after 30 mins, bringing on Mitchell Thomas for his debut.
Things then went tits up, with Summers getting injured, and us having to play with 10 men for the next 5 mins.
At half time, and the score at 0-0, the Gaffa relayed his words of wisdom to the team, and as usual, he was right. What a Legend.
Early in the second half, the ball came to Conor Walker on the edge of the box, who fired his shot hard and low into the bottom corner of the Olveston goal.
1-0, nice doings.
With us getting more on top, Conor then decided to take a 10 minute breather, claiming that someone had caught him in the knackers (altho I cant see that anything that small could hurt that much!!)
Rico, Ted, Grant & Scott had it sewn up at the back, but then Alex put a pass across goal and Matt almost managed to balls it up from 2 yards, but it hit the underside of the bar and went in.
2-0, game over, Job done.
Lee Bartley also got in on the 'I'm injured' gang when he twisted his knee just before the end.
Player ratings (max 5 stars)
Enrico **** (3 of the stars were for not coming out!!!)
Ted **** (Good Game)
Grant **** (Solid Performance)
Scott *** (would of got 4, but he supports Liverpool)
Matt **** (looked like he'd had a hard night)
Bobby ***(DEFINATELY had a hard night)
Summers **** (so many twist & turns, he needed to straighten his hair afterwards)
Alex Serious ***(kept running for the corner, looked tired)
Lee Bartz ****(challenged for everything, got a bad knee for it!)
Conor No Nuts **** (ooooooooh, that's gotta hurt. nice goal tho)
George **** (full of running, no goals this week tho.)
Tommo **** (came off the bench and put in a good display. Silly Socks tho.)
The day was topped off by 2 new signings, Jord Gazzard and Dan Smith will be available for selection as of next Sunday.
The Gaffa has said his piece. (Time for my tea!!!)

Whitchurch v Olveston Sun 18th Oct 2pm K.O

As training has been cancelled this week, I want all the U18's squad to take the time to 'do your own thing'.

Go for a jog, ride your bike, go swimming, do some aerobic exercise, be prepared for this weekends game.

Alternatively, you'll probably all do what you normally do.

Drink beer, watch telly, play computer games, stay up late, eat kebabs and sleep in a bush.

We have a Laydee referee this week (Mandy Kurfoot) so best behaviour from all, as apart from Bad Boy George Laver, our team has a very good disciplinary record.

So far (unless anyone knows any different), the available list for this Sunday's game is as follows:

1. Rico 'where the hell are you going?' Thompson James

2. Scott 'Terrible Shorts' Selwood

3. Mitch 'Shotgun' Player

4. Carlo Wherethehellhaveyoubin

5. Matt Tempz

6. Grant 'No Wheels' Caddick

7. Alex 'serious' Vezey

8. Lee Bartz

9. George 'Bad Boy' Laver

10. Jammy Walker (even his hair's marmalade colour)

11. Bobby 4 goals

At the mo, no substitutes.

If anyone knows of any other club members who are available, let me know asap.

Also, I have to pay the club all signing on fees and subs by Sat 31st Oct.

All players with outstanding monies, please sort it out asap.

The Gaffa has spoken.

October 25th, Re arranged game.

As we originally had a 'free Sunday' on the 25th, and so do Mangotsfield, the league have brought forward the fixture from 7th March 2010 to Oct 25th 2009.
Slop will still be in Brazil on this date, so I need all the usual crowd available, plus some of the 'part time' players to make sure that we don't slip up against a team that we have already convincingly hammered.
Even tho this game is away, the league have still allocated us Steve Martin to referee.
Big Whoop.
On another note, we don't have a referee allocated to us for next week's game v Olveston, so I have to try to sort that, as I don't want a 'stand in' being in charge of what might turn out to be an important game.
Don't forget training is now on TUESDAYS, 6pm - 8ish, and I'm still chasing outstanding subs and signing on fees. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!
Please get them paid asap, so that we can get our kit sorted, and I'll then have access to funds from the club for new equipment.
Race night at the club house on Sat 31st Oct, this is a club event, so please attend if you can.
Keep fit, turn up for training, and we could still use a few more squad members if you know of anyone who's not too bad at football, and won't still be pissed when he turns up to play on a Sunday!
The Gaffa.

Match Report Home v Mangotsfield

Whitchurch Sports 12 Mangtsfield 0

What can you say about a scoreline like that??
I don't think that Mangotsfield were that bad a side, but I think they suffered from a very bad case of over confidence, when their coach was overheard saying that 'Whitchurch only have 11', and we were 'there for the taking'.
After 90 seconds George Laver had us 1-0 up, which followed by Alex Vezey heading in the second just a minute later.
Lee Bartley, Conor Walker and a second from George made it 5-0 after just 20 mins, then we decided to take our foot off the gas and allow Mangotsfield to have a go at us.
We didn't score again in the first half, and Mangotsfield suffered more misfortune when their main goal threat had to go off after the very hung over slop jumped on him, at the same time as Mitch was kicking him in the head while he was down (accidentally I must add!!).
After some wise words from the Gaffa at half time, Whitchurch came out reinvigored for the second half, with Bobby Archard scoring a couple of early goals (including one direct from a corner kick.
A complete hoofer from his own penalty area from slop went so far up in the air it came down with snow on it, hit Conor walker on the foot as he tried to get it down, then flew over the goal keeper and into the net from 40 yards. Conor said he did it intentionally, I think he's a jammy little ginge.
With our defence flooding forward trying to get in on the action, Mangotsfield did get forward, and it took a couple of last ditch tackles from Mitch to stop them getting on the scoresheet.
As the score continued to get more embarrassingly one sided, Rico decided he was going on his travels, and ventured out of his area to try his arm as an outfield player.
With the Gaffa and the rest of the team screaming at him to get back in his area, Rico quickly retreated to his box. And stayed there.
Bobby then scored his hat-trick, then his fourth, then with 1 minute left, and the score at 10-0, we still managed to bag 2 more goals with Alex slotting a great finish over the keeper, and Grant Caddick also finishing a one on one.
12 - 0, Nice doings.
All in all, not a bad performance, we could have hit them for more if the strikers spent more time getting the job done instead of trying to make it look good.
No Game next week, then we have Olveston the week after, but Slop is unavailable, so I hope to get Carlo, Chop or Jord to fill in as a makeshift centre back, or go in the mid with Grant dropping back.
See you all at Training next Tues.
The Gaffa.

SQUAD for 4th October 2009 v Mangotsfield

I've only had one reply saying they're unavailable for tomorrow, so the squad is as follows:
1. RICO "Get back in Goal" Thompson James
2. Scott Selwood
3. Ted Player
4. Slop
5. Matty Tempz
6. Lee Bartley
7. Alex "The Vulcan" Vezey
8. Grant "Axle on the floor" Caddick
9. Bob Archard
10. Birthday Boy Laver
11. Ginge Walker
12. Ginge Chop
13. Dean Chapman

See you at Creswicke Rd at 12.45
The Gaffa.

Upcoming Game v Mangotsfield

Big Game this Sunday!!!

With Hanham losing last week, it's all to play for, so I do NOT want players getting wrecked on Saturday, playing shit on Sunday, and us not getting 3 points.

WE CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN!!!!!

As a mark of respect to Alan Coggins, we will be wearing black armbands on our shirts this Sunday, and I want big performances out of everyone, cos who knows? He may be watching!

So, on Saturday night, No drinking, smoking, staying up all night or touching yourself inappropriately!!!

DON'T FORGET subs and signing on fees still have to be paid.

See you at Creswicke Rd, 12.45 on Sunday,

The Gaffa.